For too long, women and minority entrepreneurs have been taught to ask. Ask for grants. Ask for mentorship. Ask for inclusion in programs. Ask for someone to finally “see their potential.”
Here’s the hard truth: the gatekeepers you’re waiting on aren’t in the business of creating wealth for you. They are in the business of protecting their own power.
Chasing institutional approval — instead of building customers, cash flow, and equity — keeps too many founders broke, overextended, and vulnerable.
Reading Reginald F. Lewis’s Why Should White Guys Have All the Fun? was a turning point for me. It revealed that the so-called rules of business were not made for us — and that playing by them would keep me at the mercy of gatekeepers who never intended for me to win. That realization shaped my decision to stop playing their game and build my own.
The Gatekeeping Trap
- From pitch competitions that award small sums and free publicity (but no follow-through)…
- To corporate diversity initiatives that invite you into the supply chain (but give you crumbs)…
- To predatory investors who dangle capital tied to controlling terms…
The entire system is set up to extract your story, your creativity, and your time — while keeping ownership and upside elsewhere.
Gatekeeping looks like:
- Constantly applying for grants instead of growing revenue.
- Attending endless panels and workshops instead of selling.
- Relying on one or two institutions to “save” your business.
- Accepting inequitable deals because “it’s better than nothing.”
These behaviors keep you in a cycle of scarcity and dependency.
Why the System is Designed This Way
Understand: it’s not an accident. The same institutions that denied you access for decades now offer controlled “inclusion”—just enough to check a box, but never enough to shift wealth or power.
Why? Because true ownership — equity, cash flow, and control — threatens the status quo.
You can’t win if you play their game.
Stop Begging: Build Instead
Here are five unapologetic steps to reclaim your agency and build on your own terms:
1. Build Customers Before Capital
- Your most powerful investor is a paying customer.
- Focus on solving a real problem people will pay for.
- Test your idea in the market before seeking outside money.
- Stop designing your business for grants or pitch judges — design it for buyers.
Action: Set a 90-day sales goal and talk to at least 50 prospective customers this month.
2. Stop Performing, Start Producing
- Visibility means nothing if you can’t deliver value.
- Forget the awards, the hashtags, the panels — they don’t pay the bills.
- Build your systems, team, and capacity so you can fulfill contracts, not just win them.
- Only accept exposure if it aligns with tangible business outcomes.
Action: Audit your time. Cut out two “visibility” activities that don’t move revenue forward.
3. Negotiate Like an Owner
- If you do engage with gatekeepers, come prepared to protect yourself.
- Don’t be afraid to walk away from a bad deal.
- Read the fine print on grants, loans, and partnerships.
- Push for terms that keep equity and decision-making in your hands.
Action: Hire a lawyer or mentor to review any major agreement before signing.
4. Control Your Narrative
- Gatekeepers love a good story — because they profit from it more than you do.
- Don’t let others define your value.
- Own your message, your brand, and your metrics of success.
- Be known for delivering results, not just being “inspiring.”
Action: Rewrite your elevator pitch to focus on impact and outcomes — not struggle.
5. Build Your Own Table
- You don’t have to wait for someone else to invite you in.
- Start your own network, cooperative, or alliance.
- Partner with peers to share resources and scale together.
- Invest in other underrepresented founders as you grow.
Action: Identify three like-minded founders and propose one joint initiative this quarter.
The Power is Already Yours
You don’t need anyone’s permission to build a business that creates wealth, freedom, and impact.
Stop performing for gatekeepers who have no stake in your future. Stop trading your autonomy for crumbs. Stop waiting to be chosen.
Start building what’s yours unapologetically.
Remember:
You are not here to fit into a broken system.
You are here to outgrow it."Keep going, no matter what." — Reginald F. Lewis
Let’s build. Let’s lead. Let’s leave a legacy.